I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
