am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
