Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Panties = found
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
