Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
