he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
