im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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