i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
