So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
