Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
