After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize