sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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