You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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