During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
