ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
