I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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