She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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