so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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