Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
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HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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