I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
