You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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