Sponge bath it is.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
