Don't make out with my wife yet
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
