Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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