you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize