:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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