Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
