It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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