get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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