there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?