Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?