Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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