I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid