i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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