I accidentally had phone sex last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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