You made me cry and you don't even care
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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