Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize