She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
