i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
