the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
