I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
