Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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