Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
