Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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