haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
