They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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