So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
