I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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