Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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