is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
