Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
