i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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