I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize