Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize