so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize