I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
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Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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