god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
