btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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