she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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