Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
