Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
