put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's rum buckets o'clock
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