Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
