Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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